6 Ways to Gain Leadership Style

Fortune Cookie Life Lesson #10

Leadership is action not position.

Am I a leader or a follower? A question that I was asking myself when I received my next fortune out of the jar and the answer was merely I have no idea. For most of my life, I would consider myself to have been a follower. I was the type of person that usually goes with the flow and never sighted many opinions about anything. I felt that it may have been easier to live my life that way and that I would avoid social confrontations. Unfortuanlty I think I was holding myself back by not taking the lead in certain situations in my life and that was something I needed to change.
What is leadership? By having leadership skills, one is taking action, and usually, this is done with a group of people or a situation. Leaders help those around them and set the tone for the group. They are vision builders and have a talent for creating new things. I decided that I wanted to have more leadership skills. Doing this takes me out of the comfort zone, and I will feel more secure in my decisions. Being a mom I already have a few leadership skills involving my kids, but I decided that I was going to take action in my choices that include more of myself. Here are 6 six things I practiced to help me to build my leadership style.

1. Set Expectations
Setting expectations for yourself will hold you accountable for your leadership. When I set certain expectations in some of my dealings, I noticed that I did not back down as much. By placing a set of rules ahead of time, I was more willing to stick to them. This was true when I was working on my budget. There were times that my kids or even myself would be tempted to do a little extra, and by setting my expectations on how much I was going to spend, I found it more comfortable to hold myself accountable. When I exceeded my expectations, it gave me a sense of strength and control in my finances.

2. Educate and Learn
Knowlege gives you power. The more you learn about something, the more leadership you can share with those around you. If you want to move up in your job become an expert in the field not only will this give you confidence but you will also find that those around you will respect your skills. I love to learn about health and fitness. Back in the day, I used to be a personal trainer, and I helped individuals get healthy and in shape. I loved the job and loved to help people work toward healthy goals. Even though I am no longer a trainer, I still take these traits with me everywhere I go, and I share my knowledge to help those around me.

3.  Positivity Spreads Like Wild Fire
Be a positive role model for those around you. This especially is true when you are trying to find your leadership style. I work hard not to be a downer, but there have been times that I have that little bit of dought in the back of my mind, and I have had to learn to put a stop to that kind of thinking. Not only will a negative attitude affect you but it also affects those around you. By looking at the glass half full instead of half empty, you are giving yourself a way to think outside the box. Being positive is also a great confidence booster instead of you can’t you start to think you can automatically.

4.  Set Goals and Conquer
Goal setting is an essential characteristic of leadership.
Goals get us where we need to be. By setting goals and conquering them, we show that we can lead a path to success. This is especially true for my husband and me with our finances. We have set goals for our future and have worked hard at attaining each one. Although this has not always been an easy road, we have been able to learn so much about taking control and gaining the reward of financial freedom. For every small goal, we conquered we would add another one to the list and gradually we are advancing to where we want to be in our future. The motivation we have received from conquering our goals is what keeps us going.

5. Manage Change
Nothing in life is smooth sailing. One thing a leader can do is manage those little-unexpected twist and turns in life. If you can achieve the vision even when there are changes you show strength to those around you. The changes you may face could be functional, or they could be dysfunctional, but either way, indicating that you have control over the situation will be appealing to those in the position. I personally like change and feel that change is here to challenge and why not accept the challenge.

6. Be a Coach
Coaches have leadership skills. They have the skills to get the job done. Be your own coach and watch your leadership soar. Coaches build up the team and give the motivation to excel expectations. You can’t sit around waiting for your goal to happen and unfortunately, it may never happen. Be a part of making that goal happen. Make a plan and stick to it and if the plan changes keep moving forward. Work hard, and this will lead to significant results.

What I learned in last few weeks is that having leadership qualities gives you a sense of freedom and control. The probability of getting things done is far more likely with leadership. Becoming an expert in what you want to achieve will help those around you and give you some respect. A positive attitude is everything when working to get what you want out of life. Make sure to set some goals and conquer them. Attaining the goals gives you the strength to keep going and overcoming the next one. Manage changes in your path and gain a sense of power, and be a coach to yourself and those around you by having the tools to build what you want. Be a leader in your life and go forth to motivate and inspire.

5 Ways to Stop a Negative Conversation Before it Begins

Fortune Cookie Life Lesson #2

Keep your goals away from the trolls.

Do you ever find yourself dealing with people who aren’t happy unless they or you are miserable?  You may have an idea that you may want to try and the person you are talking to shuts it down.  Maybe you received a promotion or accomplished a personal goal and you share it and they act like it’s no big deal. Everyone has had these conversations in their life and we may or may have not dealt with these circumstances the best way. If we are lucky we can put an end to these situations before they even begin with these 5 steps.

Know what your hot buttons are so that you don’t end up falling into the trap. 

Many times these situations are placed before us to get a reaction.  If you are dealing with someone who says or does something the best way to handle the conversation is to not react negatively.  if someone is trying to hit your hot button keep in mind that you have control of what you say and do and even though you don’t like what is being said you not letting the other person win.

 

Change the subject to neutral.

Changing the subject in a not so positive conversation takes the light off the resentment and puts it in a different light.  You could even ask how the other person is doing and what they have been up to.  More than likely they will love the idea of filling you in on themselves.

 

“Thanks for your input I will consider it.”

Rather than getting into an argument over what is being said and done end the conversation by thanking them for their input and that you will consider all the options.  Being polite when things aren’t always the most friendly makes it hard for the other person to continue the toxic conversation.  You are ahead if you keep it under control.

 

There may be times you can avoid it altogether.

If you’re at a party or a social situation simply avoiding the one who wants to start trouble will be a way to keep things under control.  You don’t have to talk or visit with someone who wants to send shade your way.  A simple hello or wave is just fine and keeping yourself busy will keep the contact to a minimum.

 

Be confident.

You know who you are and the more confidence you have around those that might think less of you the better your outcome will be.  You don’t have to think you are holier than thou but have confidence in your decisions and actions.  Many times this intimidates the person who wants to shut you down.

There are times in life where we have to deal with those people who don’t have our best interest at heart.  It is easier to handle these situations when we are able to keep control of what is being said and done during the interaction.  When you know how to deal with the trolls these social situations get a whole lot easier.