Fortune Cookie Life Lesson #24
To love and be loved are blessings.
People need to be loved. Love brings happiness and contentment into our lives. What happens if we are in a relationship where we love but don’t seem to get the same in return? If you are feeling unloved here are four signs you may be in an unreturned love relationship.
1. Feeling Unappreciated
If you find yourself giving your partner 100% and you don’t get the same in return, it may be time to reexamine the situation. Many times I have heard that relationship are 50/50. I feel that for a healthy relationship each person should be able to give their fullest and not just half.
2. Feeling Used
Being used by someone is a horrible feeling, and no one should ever put up with being treated this way. Are they only bringing attention to you when it benefits them, and you are left feeling like a doormat give this relationship a boot and give yourself something better which you deserve?
If when in the relationship an instant wave of anxiety brushes over you like the cloud of doom causing you to feel as though you are plummeting over a cliff this is a severe problem that needs to address. To be this anxious over someone and having to deal with them is unhealthy and if it cannot change for the better more than likely, you have no business trying to build this relationship.
4. You are continually initiating contact.
Don’t beg for attention; it is not something you have to do. There are many others out in this world that value who you are and would love to dote on you any minute of the day. Don’t continually try to engage with someone that not only will bring you down by not giving back but may be giving you adverse reactions in return.
Now that we talked about some signs of unreturned love here are some things that can help you in deciding if you need to make a change.
1. Accept this will not change
Accept that this relationship may not be healthy for you or your partner. Neither one of you deserves to be unhappy and by getting on with your lives your giving each other a chance for a healthy happy relationship.
2. Don’t take it personally
When someone says, it’s not you it’s me they are probably right. It may not be you at all that is causing this person to show unreturned love so don’t go around blaming yourself for someone else’s actions.
3. Distance Yourself
When you decide to walk away make sure to keep the distance and focus on your healing so that you don’t feel the need to return to the relationship. You won’t be able to move on if the person you are moving away from is still around.
4. Move On
Don’t sit in your room thinking about all the things you could have done to repair this relationship. If it were an unloved relationship nothing you could have done would have changed anything. Take some time to grieve and then give yourself the pass to move on in your life. Your future is waiting.
Not only is an unloved relationship unhealthy but it’s an exhausting way to live. Value yourself enough to know that you are worth every minute and that it is ok to walk away and find something else that will value you in return.