How to Unplug and Give Your Mind and Body a New Freedom.

Fortune Cookie Life Lesson #43

Unplug

Such a simple thing to do but for so many of us it is impossible.  Remember the days before tons of technology. Many times we find ourselves indulged in the newest game or checking our Instagram and facebook status on the daily.  Technology is a great tool but we need to find that healthy and happy balance so that we don’t become computer zombies.  The next time you find yourself needed a technology detox here are a few ways to reawaken your body and your mind.

1. Create a nightly ritual

Nightly rituals are fantastic.  Take some time doing something other than looking at a screen.  Read a book that is so good you can’t possibly put it down.  Find some time for some light yoga practices or meditation.  Doing this right before bed can give you the best sleep of your life.  Start a journal and write about your day and what you have experienced.  If there is some stress writing it out on paper can help in dealing and will also help you get a better night sleep.

2. Learn a new hobby or skill.

Learn something new and have fun.  Whether it’s taking a class or take the time to practice something that you have been meaning to work on, doing this broadens your horizons.  Doing this helps you grow and can help move you forward into the future.

3. Exercise

Physical activity does a body and the mind well.  We are always so sedentary when we are dealing with technology and to be able to go out and get in some exercise keeps us healthy.

4. Spend time with those you love.

Spend time with family and friends.  They miss you and would love to be able to have your attention.  Go outside together for a walk or play a board game.  Go back to old school and enjoy each other’s company.

There are so many ways to get yourself unplugged.  Pick a day and renew your senses and relationships.  The good thing about technology is that it is always around tomorrow.  Remember life is to short to be plugged in all the time.

How to Experience Virtue and Not Let it Get to Your Head

Fortune Cookie Life Lesson #26

Virtue is its own reward

 

How important is it to have virtue in our lives?  The definition of virtue states ” Behavior showing high moral standards” and when we think of the word virtue words such as ethics, excellence, and kindness might come to mind.  These things are all important when dealing with each other and if we didn’t do these types of behaviors, our world would suffer.

Virtue can lead to happiness but can we experience too much virtue and let it get to our heads.  Can too much virtue in our lives leave us with a sense of pride?  Pride is okay to have, but it can also be a vice in life.  I decided to take a look at three key aspects of my life that I hold to the highest value that would bring virtue into my life.  When deciding to take a look at these three things that I think I have experienced virtue I wanted to see how those feelings of virtue affected me and if I feel at times I could have been too prideful. I can honestly answer yes I experienced a certain degree of virtue with each of these and I also have experienced being over prideful as well.  Here are my three most significant things in my life where I have felt the most virtuous.

My Family 

I always strived to have the family I never had a child.  I had a family that was broken most of my life.  Growing up I decided that I would work hard to make my family unit strong and that is something that I strive for today.  I have an excellent, loving, and supportive husband who works hard for us in all things.  He is my best friend, and I couldn’t ask for anything more.  I have two fantastic kids who are entering the teen scene of their lives and have given me more smiles than a headache.  That is not to say we haven’t had our trials because we have and we have always seemed to pick up the pieces and move forward.  I am thankful for this opportunity, and yes there have been times when I forget that this is life and life is not perfect.  Have I ever been too prideful when it comes to my family? I will be honest yes I have.  There have been times I have judged and have thought I might be able to do it better.  I will tell you that today I try and work very hard to not judge those around me. I feel like judgment can become a bad habit just and it takes time to break a habit once you have been doing it for a while. I am always telling myself to do better.

My Beliefs

This one was a hard one when I really got to thinking about it.  Way back in the day I used to be strongly religious.  I went to church every Sunday and was a huge participant in teaching and helping our congregation.  Unfortunately with this came the feeling of feeling overly special.  I am not saying at all that church is wrong because I believe it entirely can be the best thing for a person. When I first went, it was the best thing for me. It took my life and changed it for the better.  The problem was that when I was going and working so hard to be that perfect person I believe that my virtue was clouded with a bit of pride and entitlement. I don’t go to church anymore not because I don’t like it but because I wanted to focus on myself and my spirituality.  I had to teach myself to be more humble by concentrating on what I was doing for those around me and that I can do great things in life without having to boast or feel like I need something in return.

 My Self

Out of my siblings, I have been the one who got away.  I was able to live a decent life, and they have had some pretty real struggles.  One of the reasons I have made a path for myself is because I have chosen to not go down a road of addiction.  Addiction is definitely a family disease, and I am a firm believer that it is learned through the environment and can quickly be passed down even through generations.  I have worked hard to keep myself healthy and happy.  Somedays are harder than others, but I work hard to make sure that I can give myself and my loved ones the life they deserve. One of the ways I have been able to succeed is by holding myself to a certain standard.  I believe that virtue has helped me in achieving but in the past, I have not been the nicest to deal with when it comes to my siblings.  I wanted them to experience the same happiness I have, and I have pushed too hard in certain circumstances. I have learned through the years that we all have our battles and the best way to help is to love and support when you can, this will go further than thinking you know what is best for those that are fighting their own battle.

Virtue can bring happiness to our lives, but it can also become a vice if it is not understood. Being able to experience great things is a beautiful feeling to have but make sure we do so with a humble heart.  Remember that our actions can affect those around us and be aware of others helps us keep our pride in check.  The next time you experience virtue in your life be happy and thankful that you received it and see if you can spread a little to someone else along the way.

Ask Yourself These Questions When Deciding to Make a Life Change

Fortune Cookie Life Lesson #5

It’s up to you to make the next move.

Recently My husband and I have had to take a look at what direction our life is headed.   We are happy and live in a great area, but there are certain situations that we are wondering if we should make a big move when it comes to our future.  These decisions could help us financially but also will require some sacrifices in certain areas to get us where we want to be.  Life is never a dull moment, and we are now going to be making some serious decisions in the next couple of months. I feel like we are ready for a new adventure and am feeling very confident in the choices ahead.    If you are in the same boat and are struggling with some options that may make or break you here are some things to ponder on when being hit with that fork in the road.

What are my intentions?

What do you intend to do with your future?   Where do you see yourself with the decisions you plan on making?  Taking a look at what we plan on doing with our future requires us to take a long hard look at somethings we might be missing, and we can then see a pretty clear picture of what might become of the decisions we make.

Don’t act too quickly

I am terrible at this one.  I think of something that looks fantastic and don’t take the time to actually analyze all the outcomes and sometimes that has led unsatisfactory results.  Relax a little bit and let all the information sink in before jumping in.

How do I feel about the change?

I do believe that feelings are private guides.  If you don’t feel right about something, there is probably a good reason why.  That is why it is so important to give this idea time because you might think something is great and later on down the road after pondering it might not be such a good idea.

What are the problems I will face?

Even though something sounds lovely, there may be some issues that you will have to deal with, and being prepared for those issues will make a difference.  Make a list of all the problems and focus on the solutions for each of the issues you may face.  At least then you will have a guide if you happen to hit one of these circumstances and you won’t be the deer in the headlights.

Is this reality?

I am all for following dreams and aspirations.  I am practicing this right now with this blog,  but I also am a considerable realist, and I do know what my reality is.  I have kids, and bills so I have to take this into consideration and make sure my dream fits.

What are the positives?

Make your list of positives and focus on what can become of your life choice.  If the positives out weight the negatives go ahead and take the plunge.

 

Life is an adventure, and we should be able to take advantage of it; otherwise, it might be a little annoying.  Making big moves are scary and sometimes unexpected but it helps to have a little something to help you along the way.

 

 

5 Ways to Stop a Negative Conversation Before it Begins

Fortune Cookie Life Lesson #2

Keep your goals away from the trolls.

Do you ever find yourself dealing with people who aren’t happy unless they or you are miserable?  You may have an idea that you may want to try and the person you are talking to shuts it down.  Maybe you received a promotion or accomplished a personal goal and you share it and they act like it’s no big deal. Everyone has had these conversations in their life and we may or may have not dealt with these circumstances the best way. If we are lucky we can put an end to these situations before they even begin with these 5 steps.

Know what your hot buttons are so that you don’t end up falling into the trap. 

Many times these situations are placed before us to get a reaction.  If you are dealing with someone who says or does something the best way to handle the conversation is to not react negatively.  if someone is trying to hit your hot button keep in mind that you have control of what you say and do and even though you don’t like what is being said you not letting the other person win.

 

Change the subject to neutral.

Changing the subject in a not so positive conversation takes the light off the resentment and puts it in a different light.  You could even ask how the other person is doing and what they have been up to.  More than likely they will love the idea of filling you in on themselves.

 

“Thanks for your input I will consider it.”

Rather than getting into an argument over what is being said and done end the conversation by thanking them for their input and that you will consider all the options.  Being polite when things aren’t always the most friendly makes it hard for the other person to continue the toxic conversation.  You are ahead if you keep it under control.

 

There may be times you can avoid it altogether.

If you’re at a party or a social situation simply avoiding the one who wants to start trouble will be a way to keep things under control.  You don’t have to talk or visit with someone who wants to send shade your way.  A simple hello or wave is just fine and keeping yourself busy will keep the contact to a minimum.

 

Be confident.

You know who you are and the more confidence you have around those that might think less of you the better your outcome will be.  You don’t have to think you are holier than thou but have confidence in your decisions and actions.  Many times this intimidates the person who wants to shut you down.

There are times in life where we have to deal with those people who don’t have our best interest at heart.  It is easier to handle these situations when we are able to keep control of what is being said and done during the interaction.  When you know how to deal with the trolls these social situations get a whole lot easier.

 

 

 

5 Most Effective Ways to Overcome Worry

Can you control how much you worry about something?

 

Life Lesson Fortune #1

Instead of worrying and agonizing, move ahead constructively.

 

How many times have you worried about something so much it affects every minute of your waking hour?  Being worried about something can create so much extra stress in our daily lives.  Whether it being late on a bill,  having to study for a major exam or your relationship is on rocky territory. The feeling of being out of control can make it so that we lose our sanity.  Here are 5 ways to be worry free and not a worry wart.

Mindfulness-  All I can say is practice this and feel all the worry you once experienced feel a little lighter.   Mindfulness allows you to relax, take a moment not to think and give your body some clarity.  A great exercise is to take a slow deep breathe in and think of the word calm, and a slow deep breather out saying the word peace.  Allow your body to be calm and let it find some peace if only for a few minutes.

 

Buddha

 

Get Rid of The All or Nothing Attitude- Sometimes we have to just admit there will be no straightforward answer to our problems. Sometimes we need to think outside the box and decipher if there is a solution. Be able to sit down and look for other answers you might even find one better than your original idea.

Focus on What is Positive- I feel like this can be really hard to do in certain situations. Being able to see the positive in any situation can give a person directly in their life. It tells that person that even in the darkest of times there will always be a little light.

 

inspire

Slow Down- Nowadays the world is rushing. many problems can be created by not being able to slow down and take time with something. If we don’t stop and think about issues we deal with we may not make the best choice. The next time a problem arises take a break and think about all the outcomes. The longer you take time to look at all solutions the better your choices will be.

 

trust

Talk it out- Getting things out in the open can not only help you but will also help others around you. Your worry may be causing you to be short with your family or friends. You might have worry about someone close to you and by being able to discuss these things will build trust in your relationship. Talk it out and feel the weight of all your worry disappear.