Make Your Goals Realistic and Change the Way You live.

This month I wanted to take some time and focus on a little self-care.  I used to think that self-care was not something I deserved and rarely did I take the time to slow down and heal myself.  This month I wanted to focus on some self-love and will be posting the whole month of April on way’s to make changes that will positively influence our lives.

Fortune Cookie Life Lesson #41 

“Vision without action is a daydream.  Action without vision is a nightmare.”  Japanese Proverb

The first focus this month is on goals.  Goals are great because they take us to another place.  We don’t have to feel like we are stuck if we have goals to work towards.  Life is always throwing curve balls, and goals are there to catch those curve balls and get us closer to where we want to be.

This month take some time to track your goals.  These goals can be significant, or they can be small tack them and write them down.  Post notes to remind you of what you are working on and what you want in the end.  Remember to be honest with yourself, and if you don’t hit that goal, you want to quit.  Pick up where you left off and keep going.

The Art of Trying Something New and Exploring What Interest You.

Are you a person who likes to learn new things or do you cringe at the thought of even trying?  I have had to get a grip on learning new things and putting myself out in the world, and from personal experience, it has done the best things for me and my life.

I have always been shy, and my self-esteem has lingered but making myself go out and do something out of the ordinary has made me take a look at what makes me the happiest. Learning new things can be scary but once you take the dive and there is no going back the personal growth you get in return is well worth the hassle. Here are some ways to take the plunge into your adventure, you’ll thank me later.

Explore the uncomfortable.

Being uncomfortable is never fun, but sometimes we do our best in awkward situations.  This is where your strength comes from because you have to go out and do something unfamiliar to you and you have to overcome the want to run away from it.  Embrace being uncomfortable.

Once you are uncomfortable, get past your fears.

Fear is an obstacle, and you are the one that has to overcome this obstacle.  Fear holds us back and letting go of fear is most of the battle.  Know that you can and will be able to do whatever you put your mind to, and that fear is the evil villain holding you back.

Don’t care what others think.

This is a hard one to accomplish, and it took me many years to make this a realization.  Caring about what others think just keeps you in a box and does not allow you to have your freedom.  If someone has an opinion great, but that should never hold you back from doing something great.

I didn’t know.

Imagine all the things you could do that you didn’t know if you would not have tried.  How crazy would it be to take a look at your life and realize that there was so much more that could have been done and you chose not to explore your interests?

Learning is growing.

Every time we learn we grow.  Never stop learning in your life.  That is what life is all about is taking these experiences and learning everything we can from them.  Learning is what makes our lives worth living.

Be brave.

It doesn’t matter how big or small the fear is overcoming; this emotion is building bravery.  You don’t have to be a superhero to be brave and powerful.  Know your worth and make those changes and wear your courage on your sleeve.

Life is to short to not explore those interests.  

5 Ways to Slay a Bad Day

Tired of having a bad day. Learn ways to get through the day and win in the end.

Fortune Cookie Life Lesson #36
Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but sometimes playing a poor hand well.

Regretful days come and they go. Unfortunately, when they do come they can create an unsettling amount of negativity in our daily lives. Instead of sulking the day away here are five ways to slay that bad day.

1. Get Physical
There are tons of reasons to go out and get some exercise and stress is a very good reason to go out and do some physical activity. Go for a walk outside, or go punch out your aggression at a kickboxing class. Either way, you will feel so much better afterward. Not only should your body get some exercise but you can also calm the mind with a relaxing yoga and meditation session. Being able to stop the chaos and reset will help you get through the day so that you can be your best for the next.

2. Write Those Sorrows Away
Writing is therapy. I know because I do tons of it and I find it a great way to release what I need to get off my chest. A good exercise to practice is if I am having trouble with a situation or a person I take some time and write what I am feeling. Not only does this get it off my mind and the anger and frustration are no longer building up writing with emotion can achieve great works or ideas that I might not have had before.

3. Friends
Friends are there to help when help is needed. Go get some coffee or have a long conversation on the phone. Surrounding yourself with positive people will help take your mind off the stuff that is frustrating you and give you a reason to be thankful.

4. Cry it out
Crying is great. If anyone tells you it isn’t obviously has never experienced a fabulous crying session before. Crying helps release feelings that can hold you back in life and you should never be ashamed to cry.

5. Get Some zzz’s
Rest is key to healing and if you are out constantly battling the day how in the world do you ever expect to heal. Bad days happen to keep us in check so that we will take a break and rest our bodies. Who knows after a good nights sleep you may have a brilliant solution to your problem.

Life is unexpected and no matter what card we are dealt we should always be able to take these days in stride and learn from our bad days.

 

astronomy dark dawn dusk
Photo by Matheus Bertelli on Pexels.com

How to Use Charm to Benefit You at Your Next Party

Be a master of the social game.

Fortune Cookie Life Lesson #21

You will always possess a charm and sense of humor that attracts others.

Do charming people have more carefree times in social settings? Thinking about this question gets me thinking how I socialize in specific environments. For the most part, I feel that I am warm and comfortable to communicate with and don’t see myself struggling in this area. I was a personal trainer for nine years and gave seminars where I needed to speak to an audience, and when I first started I was shy and many times would get the butterfly feeling in the pit of my gut before I was to speak. As the years gone by and I kept giving seminars, teaching classes, and working with new people these insecurities disappeared. The one talent I do wish I had more of was that of being charming. What is so wonderful about being charming? I feel that being lovely with those around us can benefit us much especially when it comes to critical social settings such as business meetings. Being charming can bring positive attention to you. This behavior can help make connections that may not have been made otherwise, and will even build one’s self-confidence. Sometimes when I try, I can be a bit socially awkward, and this is something that I know I could benefit from doing in social settings. Here are four ways that I plan on becoming more charming to those around me.

1. Stepping Outside the Comfort Zone

Why must we always step out of the comfort zone to get anything done? If we are comfortable, we won’t try as hard to get what we want. People like to associate with others who think outside the box. Think about the times you have conversations and who you like to talk with, are they boring or are they interesting to you? What makes them that way? Being creative in your discussions brings a little spice of life to the party, and you will get more people interested. Think of fun and creative ways that you can communicate with those around you. If you are at an office party, don’t start the conversation off about work instead find some common interest outside of work to discuss. Talking about hiking on the weekends will be far more interesting than the spreadsheets you look at every day.

2. Listen

Please be a good listener. Listening to those around us can be a hard one to follow and if you are like me and always thinking about what to say next. I have had to practice this one in the last few years and can say that I am grasping at this concept. I never knew how annoying this could be to be in a conversation and not listen till I started catching myself in this dangerous behavior. You will make more friends by lending an ear instead of a mouth. People love those that listen and pay attention to what they are talking about. Many times people don’t listen, and it is scarce to find a good listener. Remember when in a conversation don’t keep thinking about what you are going to say next, you won’t be listening, and that can get you into trouble. Recieve their message in full so that you can give a response that is meaningful to another person.

3. Focus on the Emotions

Make sure to check those emotions at the door. Making sure my feelings didn’t get the best of me was the lesson I learned when I was a trainer. It doesn’t matter what people think of me I can’t be shy and nervous when I needed to be confident and motivating. I would have never kept a client being shy and timid. I had to suck it up buttercup and put on that confident face to get through many of my seminars and sessions. After they were done and I had positive feedback it gave me the confidence to do the next one and pretty soon I no longer needed to check my emotions at the door. Give yourself a break and relax. Being able to relax and not worry about what and how you are going to start a conversation makes communication with others so much more comfortable. Don’t be hard on yourself and have fun in whatever setting you are involved with. If you are fumbling for your words and awkward, this will be a no-win situation for you, and you will inevitably crash and burn.

charm

4. Body Language Says More than you Think

Body language says a lot in a conversation and how you hold yourself will tell others quite a bit about you, and you want to make a good impression. If you stand tall, you are showing confidence. When we stand slouched and hunched over, we may give off the idea there is a weakness. Giving eye contact shows that you are listening and interested in what the other person is saying. Often matching the way others in the conversation are holding their body language will make you and them comfortable.

Everyone can have a certain amount of charm, and it takes a little practice to master the skill. Make sure to get outside of your box and be creative when engaging in a social conversation. Listening to those around us and paying attention to what is being said will make us valuable to those that are telling the story. Make sure to keep those emotions where they need to be and that it is better to be relaxed and confident then it is to be awkward and nervous. Take your body language and make it work for any social situation. Practicing these qualities will bring us closer to being the charming individuals we have always wanted to be.

How to Make The Best Out of a Bad Situation

Fortune Cookie Life Lesson #19

Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we all had a magic wand that we could instantly change the bad things that happen in our lives? We would be able to flip the switch in an instant with no pain or fear. Unfortunately, that is not how life works, and bad things do happen. We can get a handle on these unexpected circumstances if we can work with the harder times in life. Here are five ways to take not so pleasant situation and make it better in the end.

1. Perspective is Everything

Take a look at the problem as a whole. Ask yourself if this is going to affect the rest of your life? If your answer is yes, then take a look at how to improve the circumstance and make it better so that it will work for you in the future. Look at ways to make this work and then start fixing the problem the best way you can. Perspective gives you the freedom to decide how you feel about the outcome. You can hate the result and feel miserable, or you can keep your head high and see what you can do to change the situation. If the situation is not going to affect you for the rest of your life acknowledge the problem and move on and don’t look back, you don’t have time to waste reminiscing on things that did not work out.

2. Accept What You Can Not Change

We can not always control the outcome that life gives us. When life throws you into a tailspin remember to not focus on the things that are unchangeable. Focusing on these things can hold us back on repairing and moving forward in our lives. If something isn’t working, don’t focus on this instead move on to another plan. I have learned by taking those things that I can not change and grow from the experience is better than waiting for something to happen that won’t.

3. Flexibility

Just like accepting change we also have to allow for flexibility in our outcome. If something is not working, reevaluate what the problem is and see what else will work. Being flexible will also let you not to be surprised if what you initially thought did not work out. Being flexible will also lighten the blow if what you worked hard for fails. I used to believe that life was scheduled and planned for every minute of every day and this thought process quickly changed the moment I had children. Anyone who has dealt with littles will agree that the planning and organization that you work so hard for as an adult will quickly fly right out the window when children are involved. I am thankful for the opportunity to raise my children so that they could teach me to be flexible.

inspire

4. Don’t Beat Yourself Up

Beating yourself up for something that can not be changed is a complete waste of time.  If you made a bad choice then you are human just like the rest of us and as long as you acknowledge and move forward this will be the best learning experience.  Everyone makes mistakes and sometimes we make big mistakes but it is ok and to be able to grow from your mistakes make you a stronger human being.

5. What Have You Gained From the Experience

Whether life hands you lemons or lemonade, we need to be able to take whatever experience and learn from it. Nothing is perfect and being able to take the knowledge that we gain from our failures is priceless and should be valued.

Why does life seem to be so unpredictable? If life were so predictable, it would not be so exciting. Even though there may be times when we feel like we have moved twenty steps back instead of forward taking the time to learn from the experience and make a plan to move forward to new experiences. Always take a look at the situation as if it were a glass half full instead of empty. Your perspective will affect how you deal with the situation and if your attitude is confident you will be able to handle what life throws at you a lot better. Accept that whatever is ailing you will not change and figure out how to fix it. If you live your life with more flexibility, it will prepare you for times when they are not the best. Don’t beat yourself up if you make a mistake learn from this and move forward. Always take a lesson from failure it will keep you from making the same mistakes in the future.