How to Experience Virtue and Not Let it Get to Your Head

Fortune Cookie Life Lesson #26

Virtue is its own reward

 

How important is it to have virtue in our lives?  The definition of virtue states ” Behavior showing high moral standards” and when we think of the word virtue words such as ethics, excellence, and kindness might come to mind.  These things are all important when dealing with each other and if we didn’t do these types of behaviors, our world would suffer.

Virtue can lead to happiness but can we experience too much virtue and let it get to our heads.  Can too much virtue in our lives leave us with a sense of pride?  Pride is okay to have, but it can also be a vice in life.  I decided to take a look at three key aspects of my life that I hold to the highest value that would bring virtue into my life.  When deciding to take a look at these three things that I think I have experienced virtue I wanted to see how those feelings of virtue affected me and if I feel at times I could have been too prideful. I can honestly answer yes I experienced a certain degree of virtue with each of these and I also have experienced being over prideful as well.  Here are my three most significant things in my life where I have felt the most virtuous.

My Family 

I always strived to have the family I never had a child.  I had a family that was broken most of my life.  Growing up I decided that I would work hard to make my family unit strong and that is something that I strive for today.  I have an excellent, loving, and supportive husband who works hard for us in all things.  He is my best friend, and I couldn’t ask for anything more.  I have two fantastic kids who are entering the teen scene of their lives and have given me more smiles than a headache.  That is not to say we haven’t had our trials because we have and we have always seemed to pick up the pieces and move forward.  I am thankful for this opportunity, and yes there have been times when I forget that this is life and life is not perfect.  Have I ever been too prideful when it comes to my family? I will be honest yes I have.  There have been times I have judged and have thought I might be able to do it better.  I will tell you that today I try and work very hard to not judge those around me. I feel like judgment can become a bad habit just and it takes time to break a habit once you have been doing it for a while. I am always telling myself to do better.

My Beliefs

This one was a hard one when I really got to thinking about it.  Way back in the day I used to be strongly religious.  I went to church every Sunday and was a huge participant in teaching and helping our congregation.  Unfortunately with this came the feeling of feeling overly special.  I am not saying at all that church is wrong because I believe it entirely can be the best thing for a person. When I first went, it was the best thing for me. It took my life and changed it for the better.  The problem was that when I was going and working so hard to be that perfect person I believe that my virtue was clouded with a bit of pride and entitlement. I don’t go to church anymore not because I don’t like it but because I wanted to focus on myself and my spirituality.  I had to teach myself to be more humble by concentrating on what I was doing for those around me and that I can do great things in life without having to boast or feel like I need something in return.

 My Self

Out of my siblings, I have been the one who got away.  I was able to live a decent life, and they have had some pretty real struggles.  One of the reasons I have made a path for myself is because I have chosen to not go down a road of addiction.  Addiction is definitely a family disease, and I am a firm believer that it is learned through the environment and can quickly be passed down even through generations.  I have worked hard to keep myself healthy and happy.  Somedays are harder than others, but I work hard to make sure that I can give myself and my loved ones the life they deserve. One of the ways I have been able to succeed is by holding myself to a certain standard.  I believe that virtue has helped me in achieving but in the past, I have not been the nicest to deal with when it comes to my siblings.  I wanted them to experience the same happiness I have, and I have pushed too hard in certain circumstances. I have learned through the years that we all have our battles and the best way to help is to love and support when you can, this will go further than thinking you know what is best for those that are fighting their own battle.

Virtue can bring happiness to our lives, but it can also become a vice if it is not understood. Being able to experience great things is a beautiful feeling to have but make sure we do so with a humble heart.  Remember that our actions can affect those around us and be aware of others helps us keep our pride in check.  The next time you experience virtue in your life be happy and thankful that you received it and see if you can spread a little to someone else along the way.

5 Reasons Why Love is Necessary For Our Lives

Is love necessary to your daily life?

Fortune Cookie Life Lesson #25

Love is as necessary to human beings as food and shelter. 

 

What is love and why do we need it as human beings?  I feel that love is a hard thing to describe and can’t be pinned down to one description. If I were to define the word love, I would say that it is a way that we act and feel toward things and people that we value. Love is sacrificial, and we will put others needs above ours, and not expect anything in return.  Being able to love yourself is just as important as loving others, and if you don’t enjoy yourself, you may not be able to give others love in return. Love is a complicated emotion, and it helps to truly understand what love is rather than what we think it should be. Here are 5 reasons why love is necessary for our lives and how to get the fullest amount of respect out of the relationships we deal with every day.

1. There is a Need to Love

We have heard in the past that there is a need to be loved but how many of us have heard that there is just a greater need to love someone else.  I often look at myself and think yes I am that person that pours her love into everyone else.  I have a husband and two kids that I fawn over and love on constantly. Sometimes I will admit that I will set myself aside and focus entirely on them.  I have gotten better at making a healthy balance out of loving my family but there for a while that was all I did was our my heart and soul into my family unit.  The reason I did this was that I felt the need to love and caring for them brought me life’s brightest moments.  Making these people in my life happy brought me happiness, and it does to this day.  Loving those around us gives us a sense of purpose to our lives. One way to show acts of love randomly is by performing small acts of kindness.  Kindness goes far in our daily dealings with our fellow man and doesn’t have to be anything extraordinary.  A simple hello to a stranger walking past or a small conversation with a grocery store cashier will brighten there day, and you will feel the warm fuzzies start to flourish which will make your day a little brighter as well.

2. Discover One’s Self

Love opens the door to self-discovery.  I think back on the times that I was not comfortable with who I was and most of these times my life was missing the critical element that someone cared.  When you are being loved and loving someone in return, you tend to let go of your insecurities that you once dreaded would come out to the world.  When someone truly loves you, they don’t care what your imperfections are and that gives you the freedom to find out what makes you amazing.  You no longer have to hide and worry instead it turns your focus on your life and what you want to accomplish.  When you are loved by another, this builds your strength to achieve dreams and futures.

3. Love Teaches us Lessons

We will not learn unless we do. Love can teach us the lesson of happiness as well as lessons of heartache.  Even though there will be times that will bring us to our core these life lessons are here to make us stronger and keep us from making the same mistakes.  Love can teach us the experience of a genuine feeling of wanting to do better.  Taking away the thinking of ourselves and being able to consider someone else’s well being.

4. Builds Future

It is essential to making a strong foundation for a home the same goes for creating a strong foundation for a relationship. Being able to love and be loved grows and gets stronger. To find a person that wants to work and build a relationship will put you both on the road to success because you will both work at making the future ahead brighter.

5.  Love is Healing

The best thing about love is the ability to heal.  Love heals a broken heart and spirit.  Think about how you felt when you have been your saddest, and someone sat there and just held you?  How did you feel at that time?  Giving something as simple as a hug shows that there is genuine care that can calm us even in the roughest of storms.

I know there are some out there that don’t think love is a necessity to live.  When I sit back and look at the things in my life that made me happiest, it all involves situations of love. We can show love by participating in simple acts of kindness. We will learn to love others and ourselves, and by doing this, we will know self-love.  Relationships teach us as we go along and without some sort of love, we would not have an opportunity to learn.  We can build our future with another person who wants to help us develop and grow.  There is no greater healing than that of love.

 

 

 

 

Get What You Want With Goals

Believe to Achieve

 

Fortune Cookie Life Lesson #11

Two things to aim for in life to get what you want and to enjoy it.

Wouldn’t the world be a fantastic place if we all could just get what we want in our lives? Too bad we all couldn’t just have a magic genie that could grant all our wishes. How can we still have reality and get the things we want in our lives? The answer lies in goals. Having goals gives us a vision and a purpose to achieve what we want. Goals are the closest genie we will get in life, and it’s time we embraced it. Here are some ways to crush your goals and create the life you want.

1. Believe and you will achieve
Many times most of us want to do great things, but we hold ourselves back from getting what we want. Holding ourselves back can be an array of reasons. We may not have the self-confidence that we feel we need to get to where we need to be. There is also a great sense of fear when it comes to challenging ourselves and trying new things. To be able to beat this curse learn to be a high achiever. Instead of thinking I will work at this start thinking I will do this. Change the way you think, and believe you will achieve.

2. Challenge Yourself
Like I mentioned above don’t hold yourself back. If we don’t try how will you ever know? Creating challenges for your goals can be fun. I am a fitness queen and love to work out. Exercise was not always my thing. I had to start from the beginning and work to where I am now. When I started, I was weak not mention my body was pretty sick. It has taken me three years to get to where I am now. Every time I would work out it was a challenge for me, and I had the mindset that I was going to crush each challenge. Some of these challenges scared me and other tasks I thought I would never be able to accomplish. Through hard work, discipline, and patience I was crushing each challenge and hitting each goal. Now that is not to say that there weren’t downfalls because there were, but I picked myself up and kept going till I obtained what I wanted. Challenges are mindsets to helping you get to where you want, and you feel amazing after you accomplish success.

3. Not All of Your Goals Will Work
Sometimes we think we want something and end up not wanting what we thought we would. Changing our minds is ok and helps us understand our real wants and needs. If you decide that what your working toward is not what you want just change your goal and move on. Strive to achieve the goals that give you the most excitement. These types of goals will be the ones we work the hardest on and provides us with the drive to create our vision.

4. Write it Down
I write everything down. I love to visualize what I am doing and what will happen in my future. Take these thoughts and put them on a vision board or paper and look at these goals. What I love to do is journal and keeping a journal helps me to take a look at my progress. It is a constant reminder of what I am working toward to getting what I want. I write lists for me to work on every day. It gives me a roadmap and lets me know I am one step closer to get what I want, and I am motivating myself to get things done and keeps me focused on the big picture.

5. Small Steps Leads to Big Sucess
Working on goals to get what we want can be overwhelming. Especially if the goal is enormous and we don’t even know where to start. Look at these types of goals and decide what small steps you can begin taking to where you want to be. Evey small step that you choose will get you closer to what you want to achieve. These big goals do not happen overnight, and it involves lots of work and patience. Rember that this is a process and keep visualizing the big picture. I used to tell my clients that I worked with in personal training that exercise and diet were not a quick fix and that this was a whole body challenge. Each of these individuals can make these small changes to reach what they want out of their fitness. It takes time, determination, and patience.

6. Get Help From Family and Friends
Working on getting what we want out of life is a whole lot easier if our family or friends are supportive and involved in reaching a similar goal. Having a support system is key to success. If you are working together to get things done, it takes all of the pressure off of one person. Usually, if the whole team is involved the goal is achieved faster, and everyone knows what is expected. An excellent example of this is our family budget. My husband and I work as a team when it comes to our finances. We have found by doing this not only are we on the same page, but we manage to get to where we need to be in a faster time frame rather than just one of us working on finances. My children are also on the budget train and know what we are spending and what we are not so there won’t be any hassles later on down the road. Doing this keeps us all in check, and we find that we don’t overstep our bounds. You can still obtain success without help it is more challenging, but if anything it makes you most substantial in the long run.

If there is anything we should be doing at this point, it is aiming for what we want out of life. Life should be what we make of it, and after we have worked to get where we want to be, we should be able to enjoy the fruits of our labor. By conquering our goals, we can live the life we want. Believe in our futures and move towards the outcome. Remember these goals don’t just magically happen overnight and it is essential to make changes along the way. If we can keep a focus on the vision and create a plan especially with friends and family soon, we can celebrate the life we have created for ourselves

6 Ways to Gain Leadership Style

Fortune Cookie Life Lesson #10

Leadership is action not position.

Am I a leader or a follower? A question that I was asking myself when I received my next fortune out of the jar and the answer was merely I have no idea. For most of my life, I would consider myself to have been a follower. I was the type of person that usually goes with the flow and never sighted many opinions about anything. I felt that it may have been easier to live my life that way and that I would avoid social confrontations. Unfortuanlty I think I was holding myself back by not taking the lead in certain situations in my life and that was something I needed to change.
What is leadership? By having leadership skills, one is taking action, and usually, this is done with a group of people or a situation. Leaders help those around them and set the tone for the group. They are vision builders and have a talent for creating new things. I decided that I wanted to have more leadership skills. Doing this takes me out of the comfort zone, and I will feel more secure in my decisions. Being a mom I already have a few leadership skills involving my kids, but I decided that I was going to take action in my choices that include more of myself. Here are 6 six things I practiced to help me to build my leadership style.

1. Set Expectations
Setting expectations for yourself will hold you accountable for your leadership. When I set certain expectations in some of my dealings, I noticed that I did not back down as much. By placing a set of rules ahead of time, I was more willing to stick to them. This was true when I was working on my budget. There were times that my kids or even myself would be tempted to do a little extra, and by setting my expectations on how much I was going to spend, I found it more comfortable to hold myself accountable. When I exceeded my expectations, it gave me a sense of strength and control in my finances.

2. Educate and Learn
Knowlege gives you power. The more you learn about something, the more leadership you can share with those around you. If you want to move up in your job become an expert in the field not only will this give you confidence but you will also find that those around you will respect your skills. I love to learn about health and fitness. Back in the day, I used to be a personal trainer, and I helped individuals get healthy and in shape. I loved the job and loved to help people work toward healthy goals. Even though I am no longer a trainer, I still take these traits with me everywhere I go, and I share my knowledge to help those around me.

3.  Positivity Spreads Like Wild Fire
Be a positive role model for those around you. This especially is true when you are trying to find your leadership style. I work hard not to be a downer, but there have been times that I have that little bit of dought in the back of my mind, and I have had to learn to put a stop to that kind of thinking. Not only will a negative attitude affect you but it also affects those around you. By looking at the glass half full instead of half empty, you are giving yourself a way to think outside the box. Being positive is also a great confidence booster instead of you can’t you start to think you can automatically.

4.  Set Goals and Conquer
Goal setting is an essential characteristic of leadership.
Goals get us where we need to be. By setting goals and conquering them, we show that we can lead a path to success. This is especially true for my husband and me with our finances. We have set goals for our future and have worked hard at attaining each one. Although this has not always been an easy road, we have been able to learn so much about taking control and gaining the reward of financial freedom. For every small goal, we conquered we would add another one to the list and gradually we are advancing to where we want to be in our future. The motivation we have received from conquering our goals is what keeps us going.

5. Manage Change
Nothing in life is smooth sailing. One thing a leader can do is manage those little-unexpected twist and turns in life. If you can achieve the vision even when there are changes you show strength to those around you. The changes you may face could be functional, or they could be dysfunctional, but either way, indicating that you have control over the situation will be appealing to those in the position. I personally like change and feel that change is here to challenge and why not accept the challenge.

6. Be a Coach
Coaches have leadership skills. They have the skills to get the job done. Be your own coach and watch your leadership soar. Coaches build up the team and give the motivation to excel expectations. You can’t sit around waiting for your goal to happen and unfortunately, it may never happen. Be a part of making that goal happen. Make a plan and stick to it and if the plan changes keep moving forward. Work hard, and this will lead to significant results.

What I learned in last few weeks is that having leadership qualities gives you a sense of freedom and control. The probability of getting things done is far more likely with leadership. Becoming an expert in what you want to achieve will help those around you and give you some respect. A positive attitude is everything when working to get what you want out of life. Make sure to set some goals and conquer them. Attaining the goals gives you the strength to keep going and overcoming the next one. Manage changes in your path and gain a sense of power, and be a coach to yourself and those around you by having the tools to build what you want. Be a leader in your life and go forth to motivate and inspire.

Don’t Waste Time! 8 Ways to Turn Your Vision Into Your Reality.

Fortune Cookie Life Lesson #8

Watch one’s thoughts become one’s actions.

Where do you see yourself?  Do you see yourself wanting more out of the life that you have?  These are questions that many of us struggle with daily.  You want to move forward but are not sure how to begin, and the thought of the change brings on intense feelings of doubt and uncertainty.  You can attain your vision, and you can overcome your fears, it may not happen overnight, but it can happen if you practice these 8 steps to help you take your vision and turn it into reality.

Write down your goals.

Writing down your goals helps you visualize what can happen.  Rather than dreaming of what you want you have taken the initiative to write these down and stick with them.

Work small than large.

Break these goals into small goals and significant goals.  Sometimes if we try to go all in it can be overwhelming and can lead us to feel discouraged which won’t get us anywhere.  When we finish the smaller goal, we feel like we have climbed a mountain and can work toward our bigger picture.

Don’t Get Distracted. 

It can be effortless to get distracted, and it is so important to keep an eye on the prize.  When these distractions arise do your best to control them and not let the overtake what you have worked so hard to create.

If it doesn’t work tweak it. 

Sometimes visions take more than one try, and we have to be patient and realize that if it doesn’t work the first time we try and make it work the second or even third time.  Life is not easy, and most things are not just given; it will take some blood, sweat, and tears, but it is all worth it in the end.

Get support. 

Surround yourself with people who want to see you succeed.  If you are around people who are not in your corner you will feel like your dream should never be a reality.  Those that love you will want to see you shine.

Realize that you want this more than anything. 

Hard work is precisely that, and nothing comes easy.  Be able to make the conscious decision that this is what your future holds and you will do whatever it takes to get there.  This includes sacrifices you may have not thought about and realizing you are making this choice makes the vision so much more important.

Practice makes perfect.

Whatever your dream is you need to practice.  Usually when you want to do something that makes you happy you need to learn everything about it. Dive in and learn all you can and then practice the techniques that are taught to get you where you want to be.

Be open to all options.

Don’t shut our anything because you think that it doesn’t fit your box.  Many times thinking outside the box will give you the best results.  Look at all your options and weigh them before making any clear cut decisions.

Today is the day to show what you are made of, and take your vision and turn it into your reality.  Don’t waste time dreaming and start using your time to create the reality you have always wanted.