Fortune Cookie Life Lesson #2
Keep your goals away from the trolls.
I have been practicing this thought process for the last couple of years and have learned many things in the process. I did not realize that I should probably be doing this until about five years ago. I began to notice that there were certain situations or individuals that got a kick out of my downfalls. It took me a while to recognize and understand that not only was this unhealthy but it was downright abusive. It was time for me to celebrate my successes without constant criticism and ridicule.
When a person mentions trolls today one might relate back to the cute movie with all the colorful little beings that spread all sorts of happy around. That movie is adorable and loved by every kid I know. In the film Trolls, there is still one negative and sarcastic troll that does not feel the need to brighten anyone’s day. I think that trolls today are very much the same as depicted in the fairy tales that I used to read as a child. They are purely there to cause complete chaos to those around them. A troll is usually angry and wants to make those around them as miserable as they are. Nowadays trolls can be a person or a situation in life that instead of helping a person grow can keep a person stuck in a rut and usually it is for the troll’s entertainment. Trolls can be involved in families, friendships, and even the internet.
Throughout my life, I have come across quite a few trolls. I had specific people tell me not to try things because I would not be able to accomplish an unattainable goal in their eyes. Although I was told this, I still managed to complete this task. Even though I was able to prove this individual wrong it still left me with a feeling of insecurity, especially when these people may have been great friends and family. Deep down I know that there were those that had intentional disdain for whatever I was doing and then there were those that I think they were just purely unhappy with life in general. It wasn’t necessarily directed at me, but that these people were so unhappy. I worked very hard to prove a point and in most if not all cases I completed the task above and beyond what would have been expected. A person never likes to hear that they aren’t capable. I always held my head high and put a giant smile on my face.
One of the situations that I have had to overcome with trolls is a little disease called alcoholism. I was not the alcoholic but I was always dealing with addiction with people I love. This situation caused severe anxiety, and it took everything in me to survive, and I wasn’t even the one with the problem. Many times I would be called upon to save the day, and when I did, there was never any appreciation. This troll unfortunately destroyed some of my relationships only because I had to walk away.
One day the light switch went on, and I decided that it was time to take a good hard look at those people and situations around me and determine what was going to support me and what or who wasn’t. I came to realize that I did have an excellent support system that brought positivity to the table. With them bringing this it helped me to be motivated, and I managed to do things I never thought would happen. I also noticed that putting those positive people on my priority list it gave me more time to get things done. Instead of spending my time with the troll and having it suck the life out of me I managed to make my life happen. I am happier with what I have done with my life and felt a sense of peace because I no longer have to deal with something that wants to see me fail.
The one thing I have learned by keeping the trolls away from my goals is that it doesn’t matter who or what is holding you back you can control your outcome in life. I had to learn that even though I may have had these things and people say no you can’t do this, I always remembered if there is a will there is a way. I don’t regret these experiences because they have made me who I am today. Thank you trolls for making me tough, and even when I feel like my world could be coming down, I know that I can always get back up.
Life Lesson Fortune
Instead of worrying and agonizing, move ahead constructively.
Each week I have decided to take one of our papers from our fortune cookie collection and try and use it in my life. By doing this, I hope to be able to create good, helpful habits that may not have been and also be able to help those around me. Reading this fortune gave me quite a laugh when I reached into our glass jar and read what was on the paper. As I read the sentence, I could not help but think yep this is a sign as I do struggle with worry and yes I do agonize over it. I focused on this particular paper for one week, and every time I worried I said to myself “no worries, move forward,” and the results were terrific.
I have been a chronic worrywart most of my life. As a child, I worried about everything. I feared so much that it created intense anxiety in me that raged like a Tasmanian devil. Not to say that some of my worries were not valid. Many of the concerns I had growing up were pretty convincing and in all honesty, they were fears that I should have never had to experience. As I grew, my worries continued, and so did the anxiety. I felt a need to control everything around me because I thought that if I could manage all things that my worries would end. In most cases, these worries never ended they just kept growing. My worrying, in all honesty, made me sick. The concern would keep me trapped, and I could not do the things that maybe I wanted to do.
Over the last few years, I have gotten better at not being so concerned about everything but every once in a while my worries would get the best of me. So when I reached in the jar and pulled out this paper, I thought “Well I guess it’s time that I conquer the one thing that has to held me back, and maybe I will be able to vanquish the worry monster.”
I began my week with going about my business as usual with the exception that I began to worry I made myself repeat the phrase “No worries move forward.” I have to admit that I used this phrase probably ten times just in the morning on the first day. One thing I began to notice is that I worry an awful lot and most of the things that were so concerning to me in all actuality were so small. I am a stay at home mom with two kids that I homeschool, and just on that very first morning, I had a list of concerns. I had to take a look at what I was worried about and ask myself “Is this a valid concern?” and most of the time no it was not. It was me trying to control every little instance of that morning. That was the first time I ever acknowledged that I should probably chill out a bit. As the week progressed I kept practicing my new phrase with anything and everything that came up that would cause me to go into fight or flight mode, and just saying my little phrase created a calm that for once instead of the worry controlling me I was controlling how I dealt with the situation.
I noticed that even though my days are not always the way I want them it is ok. I am still here, and life will still go on. I never looked at life that way, and it was like I saw things in a different light. This way of thinking gave me the freedom to take a situation no matter how stressful it may be and I could decide what I wanted to do with it. I spent my whole life trying to control the uncontrollable and I now I finally had a say in how I was going to react, and it worked.
Instead of worrying if my kids were getting their chores done before school, I’d tell myself my phrase, and we would catch up in the afternoon. I began to notice that the kids started doing their chores in the morning because they wanted to be able to spend time with their friends. I didn’t have to fight this one as much anymore. Rather than me nag and worry if it was going to get done I picked my battle and let them figure it out. If there was something that was not going as planned I would immediately repeat my phrase and let it go and move on to the next task and it was ok because life still went on and everything was fine and in some cases better then if it would have gone with the original plan.
The worry that stemmed from my childhood had carried into my adulthood, and I did not know how to deal with it. I decided that this was one thing that was holding me back and it took a tiny white piece of paper to get me to see it. Don’t get me wrong there is still time I get a little overzealous but now those times are far and few. I continue to use my phrase whenever I feel the urge to go back to my old ways, and it saves me anytime and anywhere. I can honestly say that I am no longer a worry wart, instead, I am someone who can control the worry that comes my way.