How to be Tolerant in an Intolerant World

Fortune Cookie Life Lesson #20

Tolerance is a virtue few have.

I will be honest when I picked up this one I had to chuckle a little. Like I said when I started this project that these fortune cookie papers had significant meaning to them and I knew I would be learning valuable lessons from these little phrases. How can we be more tolerant around others and in situations that we may not agree with and be able to keep things healthy? Tolerance is something that we all have to work on at some point in our lives and the more we can grasp understanding the better we can be as human beings. Here are six ways we can work on being a more tolerant world.

1. Empathy Please

Empathy is the way that we can understand feelings and share them with each other. If we are empathetic with those around us, we have the awareness to care. One way to be more empathetic is to look at the perspective of the other person. A good example is siblings. Unfortunately, my siblings and I are not very close. I remember as a child having the hardest time getting along with my siblings. We would fight regularly, and usually, there was a consequence for our fighting behavior. I often wonder if our parents would have sat us down as children and had talked about what we thought was right and take time to listen to the other, I think we could have put a stop to the constant fighting and would have been able to build better relationships with one another. We each would have been taught to empathize with the other and learn to communicate with one another in a manner that would have built our relationships rather than each one of us continually attacking the other. Empathy causes us to be compassionate, and it takes away the “I am always right, and you are still in the wrong mentality.

2. Ask the Opposition For an Explanation

Let the other party explain their point of view. It is okay to have your viewpoint but taking time to listen to the one you don’t agree with gives a sense of respect and can make a tense situation and lighten it up a bit. I think as a whole many of us are taught to be right, and we need to understand this is a big world with tons of different perspectives and even though we don’t agree doesn’t mean that everyone else is wrong. When giving the other person a chance to answer don’t be aggressive when you hear something that you may not like and don’t dismiss their side of the story. Take this opportunity to learn from them and gain some understanding of why they believe the way they do and embrace the difference that you both have with one another.

3. Ignore the Differences

I think that if you can ignore the differences that you may have with one another and embrace the relationship you share that is a fantastic experience. Many individuals are in my life that share different opinions and views, and that’s okay with me because we are different. I value my relationships more than I appreciate the differences I have with them. Many of these things that we have differences on will come and go, and as long as we can get through the conflicting opinions, we get to keep the people that we love and appreciate.

4. Don’t Accuse or Assume

Anyone ever heard the phrase “Assuming makes an ass out of you and me.” In my life, I have found this out many times, and every word of it is valid. Accusing people is something that should not be done especially if you are valuing that relationship. No one likes to be accused of being something that they are not. The same thing goes for assuming. Assuming someone is just going to jump on board with whatever you expect is not only dangerous but pretty unrealistic. We are independent people with independent thoughts, and we can’t force people to think and act the same way we do it is just not going to happen. When dealing with different opinions, it is better to keep the accusations and assumptions out of the conversation.

5. Address the Problem and Try to Solve

Compromise is excellent when it comes to addressing a problem. By making sure to understand all points of view and showing acknowledgment of someone else’s viewpoints will get you further than if you just shut them down. Use negotiation to your advantage and keep calm so that the environment doesn’t get uncomfortable. Something to do when addressing an issue is using the “I” statements. Instead of saying you think this or you believe that state them as your viewpoint. Using comments that start with you can lead to people feeling like they are being accused of something especially if the conversation you are having has anything to do with disagreements.

6. Remember the Value of Difference

The difference is what makes our world great. It gives us an opportunity to grow and learn. We can still have our beliefs and opinions but understand that there is more than one belief or idea out there in this world. Even though you may not agree you can always agree to disagree and keep the clam before it becomes a storm. Take time to learn about the other points of view.

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We may not all think alike, and that’s okay. If we can try to remember to be empathetic with those we don’t see eye to eye with it will get us a lot further along in this world. When in a conversation that is getting heated take time to ask the other party for their explanation and gain understanding into why they think the way they do. Sometimes we can get past the differences by just ignoring them and focusing only on our relationships. Make sure not to accuse or assume something of someone else. Doing this never ends well and will leave you both unhappy. You can always address a problem and try to come up with an adequate solution by learning to make compromises. Remeber that difference is great and that we can learn something we may not have known about that other person before. Next time you come across someone or something that needs tolerance take a look at the situation and ask yourself is this argument worth this relationship?

How to Make The Best Out of a Bad Situation

Fortune Cookie Life Lesson #19

Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we all had a magic wand that we could instantly change the bad things that happen in our lives? We would be able to flip the switch in an instant with no pain or fear. Unfortunately, that is not how life works, and bad things do happen. We can get a handle on these unexpected circumstances if we can work with the harder times in life. Here are five ways to take not so pleasant situation and make it better in the end.

1. Perspective is Everything

Take a look at the problem as a whole. Ask yourself if this is going to affect the rest of your life? If your answer is yes, then take a look at how to improve the circumstance and make it better so that it will work for you in the future. Look at ways to make this work and then start fixing the problem the best way you can. Perspective gives you the freedom to decide how you feel about the outcome. You can hate the result and feel miserable, or you can keep your head high and see what you can do to change the situation. If the situation is not going to affect you for the rest of your life acknowledge the problem and move on and don’t look back, you don’t have time to waste reminiscing on things that did not work out.

2. Accept What You Can Not Change

We can not always control the outcome that life gives us. When life throws you into a tailspin remember to not focus on the things that are unchangeable. Focusing on these things can hold us back on repairing and moving forward in our lives. If something isn’t working, don’t focus on this instead move on to another plan. I have learned by taking those things that I can not change and grow from the experience is better than waiting for something to happen that won’t.

3. Flexibility

Just like accepting change we also have to allow for flexibility in our outcome. If something is not working, reevaluate what the problem is and see what else will work. Being flexible will also let you not to be surprised if what you initially thought did not work out. Being flexible will also lighten the blow if what you worked hard for fails. I used to believe that life was scheduled and planned for every minute of every day and this thought process quickly changed the moment I had children. Anyone who has dealt with littles will agree that the planning and organization that you work so hard for as an adult will quickly fly right out the window when children are involved. I am thankful for the opportunity to raise my children so that they could teach me to be flexible.

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4. Don’t Beat Yourself Up

Beating yourself up for something that can not be changed is a complete waste of time.  If you made a bad choice then you are human just like the rest of us and as long as you acknowledge and move forward this will be the best learning experience.  Everyone makes mistakes and sometimes we make big mistakes but it is ok and to be able to grow from your mistakes make you a stronger human being.

5. What Have You Gained From the Experience

Whether life hands you lemons or lemonade, we need to be able to take whatever experience and learn from it. Nothing is perfect and being able to take the knowledge that we gain from our failures is priceless and should be valued.

Why does life seem to be so unpredictable? If life were so predictable, it would not be so exciting. Even though there may be times when we feel like we have moved twenty steps back instead of forward taking the time to learn from the experience and make a plan to move forward to new experiences. Always take a look at the situation as if it were a glass half full instead of empty. Your perspective will affect how you deal with the situation and if your attitude is confident you will be able to handle what life throws at you a lot better. Accept that whatever is ailing you will not change and figure out how to fix it. If you live your life with more flexibility, it will prepare you for times when they are not the best. Don’t beat yourself up if you make a mistake learn from this and move forward. Always take a lesson from failure it will keep you from making the same mistakes in the future.

Get What You Want With Goals

Believe to Achieve

 

Fortune Cookie Life Lesson #11

Two things to aim for in life to get what you want and to enjoy it.

Wouldn’t the world be a fantastic place if we all could just get what we want in our lives? Too bad we all couldn’t just have a magic genie that could grant all our wishes. How can we still have reality and get the things we want in our lives? The answer lies in goals. Having goals gives us a vision and a purpose to achieve what we want. Goals are the closest genie we will get in life, and it’s time we embraced it. Here are some ways to crush your goals and create the life you want.

1. Believe and you will achieve
Many times most of us want to do great things, but we hold ourselves back from getting what we want. Holding ourselves back can be an array of reasons. We may not have the self-confidence that we feel we need to get to where we need to be. There is also a great sense of fear when it comes to challenging ourselves and trying new things. To be able to beat this curse learn to be a high achiever. Instead of thinking I will work at this start thinking I will do this. Change the way you think, and believe you will achieve.

2. Challenge Yourself
Like I mentioned above don’t hold yourself back. If we don’t try how will you ever know? Creating challenges for your goals can be fun. I am a fitness queen and love to work out. Exercise was not always my thing. I had to start from the beginning and work to where I am now. When I started, I was weak not mention my body was pretty sick. It has taken me three years to get to where I am now. Every time I would work out it was a challenge for me, and I had the mindset that I was going to crush each challenge. Some of these challenges scared me and other tasks I thought I would never be able to accomplish. Through hard work, discipline, and patience I was crushing each challenge and hitting each goal. Now that is not to say that there weren’t downfalls because there were, but I picked myself up and kept going till I obtained what I wanted. Challenges are mindsets to helping you get to where you want, and you feel amazing after you accomplish success.

3. Not All of Your Goals Will Work
Sometimes we think we want something and end up not wanting what we thought we would. Changing our minds is ok and helps us understand our real wants and needs. If you decide that what your working toward is not what you want just change your goal and move on. Strive to achieve the goals that give you the most excitement. These types of goals will be the ones we work the hardest on and provides us with the drive to create our vision.

4. Write it Down
I write everything down. I love to visualize what I am doing and what will happen in my future. Take these thoughts and put them on a vision board or paper and look at these goals. What I love to do is journal and keeping a journal helps me to take a look at my progress. It is a constant reminder of what I am working toward to getting what I want. I write lists for me to work on every day. It gives me a roadmap and lets me know I am one step closer to get what I want, and I am motivating myself to get things done and keeps me focused on the big picture.

5. Small Steps Leads to Big Sucess
Working on goals to get what we want can be overwhelming. Especially if the goal is enormous and we don’t even know where to start. Look at these types of goals and decide what small steps you can begin taking to where you want to be. Evey small step that you choose will get you closer to what you want to achieve. These big goals do not happen overnight, and it involves lots of work and patience. Rember that this is a process and keep visualizing the big picture. I used to tell my clients that I worked with in personal training that exercise and diet were not a quick fix and that this was a whole body challenge. Each of these individuals can make these small changes to reach what they want out of their fitness. It takes time, determination, and patience.

6. Get Help From Family and Friends
Working on getting what we want out of life is a whole lot easier if our family or friends are supportive and involved in reaching a similar goal. Having a support system is key to success. If you are working together to get things done, it takes all of the pressure off of one person. Usually, if the whole team is involved the goal is achieved faster, and everyone knows what is expected. An excellent example of this is our family budget. My husband and I work as a team when it comes to our finances. We have found by doing this not only are we on the same page, but we manage to get to where we need to be in a faster time frame rather than just one of us working on finances. My children are also on the budget train and know what we are spending and what we are not so there won’t be any hassles later on down the road. Doing this keeps us all in check, and we find that we don’t overstep our bounds. You can still obtain success without help it is more challenging, but if anything it makes you most substantial in the long run.

If there is anything we should be doing at this point, it is aiming for what we want out of life. Life should be what we make of it, and after we have worked to get where we want to be, we should be able to enjoy the fruits of our labor. By conquering our goals, we can live the life we want. Believe in our futures and move towards the outcome. Remember these goals don’t just magically happen overnight and it is essential to make changes along the way. If we can keep a focus on the vision and create a plan especially with friends and family soon, we can celebrate the life we have created for ourselves

Don’t Waste Time! 8 Ways to Turn Your Vision Into Your Reality.

Fortune Cookie Life Lesson #8

Watch one’s thoughts become one’s actions.

Where do you see yourself?  Do you see yourself wanting more out of the life that you have?  These are questions that many of us struggle with daily.  You want to move forward but are not sure how to begin, and the thought of the change brings on intense feelings of doubt and uncertainty.  You can attain your vision, and you can overcome your fears, it may not happen overnight, but it can happen if you practice these 8 steps to help you take your vision and turn it into reality.

Write down your goals.

Writing down your goals helps you visualize what can happen.  Rather than dreaming of what you want you have taken the initiative to write these down and stick with them.

Work small than large.

Break these goals into small goals and significant goals.  Sometimes if we try to go all in it can be overwhelming and can lead us to feel discouraged which won’t get us anywhere.  When we finish the smaller goal, we feel like we have climbed a mountain and can work toward our bigger picture.

Don’t Get Distracted. 

It can be effortless to get distracted, and it is so important to keep an eye on the prize.  When these distractions arise do your best to control them and not let the overtake what you have worked so hard to create.

If it doesn’t work tweak it. 

Sometimes visions take more than one try, and we have to be patient and realize that if it doesn’t work the first time we try and make it work the second or even third time.  Life is not easy, and most things are not just given; it will take some blood, sweat, and tears, but it is all worth it in the end.

Get support. 

Surround yourself with people who want to see you succeed.  If you are around people who are not in your corner you will feel like your dream should never be a reality.  Those that love you will want to see you shine.

Realize that you want this more than anything. 

Hard work is precisely that, and nothing comes easy.  Be able to make the conscious decision that this is what your future holds and you will do whatever it takes to get there.  This includes sacrifices you may have not thought about and realizing you are making this choice makes the vision so much more important.

Practice makes perfect.

Whatever your dream is you need to practice.  Usually when you want to do something that makes you happy you need to learn everything about it. Dive in and learn all you can and then practice the techniques that are taught to get you where you want to be.

Be open to all options.

Don’t shut our anything because you think that it doesn’t fit your box.  Many times thinking outside the box will give you the best results.  Look at all your options and weigh them before making any clear cut decisions.

Today is the day to show what you are made of, and take your vision and turn it into your reality.  Don’t waste time dreaming and start using your time to create the reality you have always wanted.

 

Ask Yourself These Questions When Deciding to Make a Life Change

Fortune Cookie Life Lesson #5

It’s up to you to make the next move.

Recently My husband and I have had to take a look at what direction our life is headed.   We are happy and live in a great area, but there are certain situations that we are wondering if we should make a big move when it comes to our future.  These decisions could help us financially but also will require some sacrifices in certain areas to get us where we want to be.  Life is never a dull moment, and we are now going to be making some serious decisions in the next couple of months. I feel like we are ready for a new adventure and am feeling very confident in the choices ahead.    If you are in the same boat and are struggling with some options that may make or break you here are some things to ponder on when being hit with that fork in the road.

What are my intentions?

What do you intend to do with your future?   Where do you see yourself with the decisions you plan on making?  Taking a look at what we plan on doing with our future requires us to take a long hard look at somethings we might be missing, and we can then see a pretty clear picture of what might become of the decisions we make.

Don’t act too quickly

I am terrible at this one.  I think of something that looks fantastic and don’t take the time to actually analyze all the outcomes and sometimes that has led unsatisfactory results.  Relax a little bit and let all the information sink in before jumping in.

How do I feel about the change?

I do believe that feelings are private guides.  If you don’t feel right about something, there is probably a good reason why.  That is why it is so important to give this idea time because you might think something is great and later on down the road after pondering it might not be such a good idea.

What are the problems I will face?

Even though something sounds lovely, there may be some issues that you will have to deal with, and being prepared for those issues will make a difference.  Make a list of all the problems and focus on the solutions for each of the issues you may face.  At least then you will have a guide if you happen to hit one of these circumstances and you won’t be the deer in the headlights.

Is this reality?

I am all for following dreams and aspirations.  I am practicing this right now with this blog,  but I also am a considerable realist, and I do know what my reality is.  I have kids, and bills so I have to take this into consideration and make sure my dream fits.

What are the positives?

Make your list of positives and focus on what can become of your life choice.  If the positives out weight the negatives go ahead and take the plunge.

 

Life is an adventure, and we should be able to take advantage of it; otherwise, it might be a little annoying.  Making big moves are scary and sometimes unexpected but it helps to have a little something to help you along the way.